This is for me

Well, This is my first blog and like the title says "this is for me" to put my thoughts and feelings down about losing my first child, Gabriel Ivian.

It has been 8 months since I saw his sweet little face.
It has been 8 months since I kissed him.
It has been 8 months since I looked into his eyes
It has been 8 months since I held him
It has been everyday that I think of him

Gabe was born on February 2, 2008 at 12:52 and he past away on February 4, 2008 at 12:15. He was born with Down Syndrome which we didn't find out about until after he was 4 hours old. He had facial features of downs but I truly believe that he only had a mild case. It really wouldn't have mattered to me I love him the same. There still is no real reason why Gabe went to heaven. His autopsy reports claim he had some sort of genetic disease called FHL but geneticists say that it is so rare for a child to have two " genetic" diseases. So, we are back at the beginning..... Why did my child have to die? Will I ever have a healthy child? Am I a carrier of this disease? Why me? Instead, I have an empty nursery, one that I won't go into and refuse to pack. Where does this leave me? Missing Gabe every moment, minute and hour of my life.